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Precious Life

21 Aug

Today’s post is a little somber… my grandma passed away last night. This was my dad’s mom, a woman who had seven children, lost her husband to a heart attack when my dad was in his teen years and continued to be strong until yesterday. At 90 years old she lived a good, yet rough, life.

Gram lived six hours away in New York. When I was younger and she was too she would come visit every year for a week in her mobile home. I remember she would park on the side of the house and I loved going into her “home” to visit her. She had a love of foxes and that was clear when you walked into her home.

Over the past 10 – 15 years she settled into an apartment in her hometown of Batavia, NY as traveling was not her friend anymore. This meant I didn’t see her often but she never missed a birthday card… which I was one of the only grandkids to get one. Not sure why, maybe because dad’s birthday was three days before mine… easy to remember?! Over the past two years my dad has traveled to visit when she wasn’t doing well and most recently my parents and sister went up for her 90th birthday, a birthday I had to miss because I couldn’t get out of an obligation. I wasn’t angry at anyone, it was ultimately my choice but I still felt bad… I honestly hoped she would hang in until my aunt married this October. It was more even heart-wrenching to know she kept asking for me.

Gram passed last night and the last time I talked to her was a few months ago, the last time I saw her… four years ago at my sister’s wedding. We were never a family to visit often but still, at a time like this you can’t help but think about it. I have one grandparent left, my mom’s mom, my nana. She lives within three miles from my house and I see her weekly at church but gram’s death makes me realize near or far, I need to be a better granddaughter. Life is too precious to “take it for granted.”

Grandma, I love you forever and always.

~ xoxo KLC

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Are You Your Own Worst Enemy? Always Wanting More Time?

29 Mar

So Many Things… So Little Time…

It’s been a few days since I was on here and not because I had nothing to say but because I had no time. Every time I turn around lately there is something else I need to do. I often get a little break and get excited I have time, but then I really don’t as something else pops up. And this is partly because I don’t know what to do with myself when I have time on my hands…so I book myself with more. Basically, I am my own worst enemy!

I like to think I want free time and maybe I do but I honestly don’t know what to do with myself once I have it so I ask my friends how I can help them. I find new organizations to be involved in, new projects to work on, etc. And out of the 52 weeks a year I may actually be in the “pulling my hair out” phase about 15-20 weeks a year. All in all, this isn’t too bad considering the amount of weeks in a year but still I am sure some of my friends would appreciate it is I was more available during these 15-20 weeks. And if I wasn’t saying “I just need two more hours in a day!” I always feel like I leave my friends in the dust during my busy times.

More recently I took on a new position, one I am truly passionate about, but my time becomes compromised with this new role as well. I am a professional fundraiser so more often than not I am at events, meetings, dinners, etc. to make new connections and to continue fostering the current relationships I have. I also organize and run three volunteer committees. And my territory to do this in – four counties spanning about half of the state of Massachusetts. What I found though is while this seems like work to many, it isn’t for me. I love meeting people and hearing their stories. I love finding ways I can help and I honestly don’t mind driving. It took a while to get here but I know I finally found my passion and when you find it you too will feel like I do – this isn’t work; it’s part of your mission.

I would be remiss if my friends read this and I don’t mention I am finishing my third master’s degree (a doctorate to come one day), I am an adjunct professor at a local college, a gym instructor, and sit on two boards. An, I even help a friend on occasion with his business. I am not one to toot my own horn, I am oddly humble in that sense but I know my friends are proud of my accomplishments so I am learing to be as well. Frankly, I feel like a “goodie-two-shoe” or an “overacheiver” if I mention all that I do. I don’t want to show anyone up, that is never my intention, I just like to stay busy.

There are many days I leave my house at 4:30 in the morning only to get home between 9:00 and 10:00 pm only to do it all again the next day. I admit, some days this isn’t easy but I do what I do not because I need to stay busy but I love what I do. I have found areas I feel deeply about and have invested my time in to them. When I do have free time I sit on my couch with my dog and inevitably fall asleep; I could waste a whole afternoon napping. Some days, this feels good but to do this every day doesn’t make sense to me; hence the busy schedules I keep. However, my proudest accomplishment in juggling all of the moving pieces – if a friend or family member needs me I make it happen. I may not see many friends or talk to them on a regular basis but if any one of my friends needed me (and my family too) I make it happen because at the end of the day jobs will come and go but true friends will always stay.

My question to you today – are you your own worst enemy with time?

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