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Precious Life

21 Aug

Today’s post is a little somber… my grandma passed away last night. This was my dad’s mom, a woman who had seven children, lost her husband to a heart attack when my dad was in his teen years and continued to be strong until yesterday. At 90 years old she lived a good, yet rough, life.

Gram lived six hours away in New York. When I was younger and she was too she would come visit every year for a week in her mobile home. I remember she would park on the side of the house and I loved going into her “home” to visit her. She had a love of foxes and that was clear when you walked into her home.

Over the past 10 – 15 years she settled into an apartment in her hometown of Batavia, NY as traveling was not her friend anymore. This meant I didn’t see her often but she never missed a birthday card… which I was one of the only grandkids to get one. Not sure why, maybe because dad’s birthday was three days before mine… easy to remember?! Over the past two years my dad has traveled to visit when she wasn’t doing well and most recently my parents and sister went up for her 90th birthday, a birthday I had to miss because I couldn’t get out of an obligation. I wasn’t angry at anyone, it was ultimately my choice but I still felt bad… I honestly hoped she would hang in until my aunt married this October. It was more even heart-wrenching to know she kept asking for me.

Gram passed last night and the last time I talked to her was a few months ago, the last time I saw her… four years ago at my sister’s wedding. We were never a family to visit often but still, at a time like this you can’t help but think about it. I have one grandparent left, my mom’s mom, my nana. She lives within three miles from my house and I see her weekly at church but gram’s death makes me realize near or far, I need to be a better granddaughter. Life is too precious to “take it for granted.”

Grandma, I love you forever and always.

~ xoxo KLC

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Welcome Back… okay welcoming me back!

27 Jun

I have been away for some time, not that I was actually away but I obviously did not write in a while. It wasn’t like I had not thought about it because I did, but the thoughts didn’t turn into action – until now. And as I am writing this a commercial for Disney’s Winnie the Pooh is on and the music playing in the background is from Grey’s Anatomy… just a weird mix if I say so myself. Winnie and McDreamy??? What a combo?!

Okay, so back to the topic at hand… not really sure what that is but let’s shoot for something… When I last left all was well, busy but that is typically my life. What you do not know is life was about to get a little crazier; on June 1, 2011 my city was hit with a tornado. Being in New England this was a strange one for us, but is happened. I was out-of-town when it hit and when all was said and done I could not get home right away.

I hate to admit… I was panicked. I was stuck in Boston, not able to get home because the weather was so bad and when I could make it out I couldn’t get back to my house for a few hours… too many trees and debris down. When I finally did make it home, I just wanted to stay there with my parents and my dog (moved back in with the ‘rents after a few years and a bad relationship later). All I wanted to do was be at home, in the neighborhood I knew and grew up in, and that is what I did. I took the rest of the week off and just let everything I went through sink in. Seeing your landscape forever change is truly unreal. What I learned after a few days, we were definitely not hit the hardest so then I started reliving everything over again… and still do when I go to new parts of town and see the destruction. It really is hard to see.

I also got a new coworker since I wrote last and an intern. Let me just say the intern I will keep, the coworker has to grow on me. I can only take her in small amounts… she is a bit annoying. And as I write that… I am sure I am annoying at times too but it’s not about me right now, it is about her! 🙂 The most annoying thing… instead of saying the word crap she says “poop.” She could say crap or stuff but no… poop. Drives me up a wall!!!

In other news I am working with a wonderful nine-year old. She has two pageants coming up this summer and her mom asked me to help her with her talent and interview portion. I have to say… working with a nine-year old on interview questions is interesting; realized focus only lasts for 25 minutes or so which means I have to get creative. All in all… she is adorable and I love working with her.

I typically work as a judge for pageants but because she is in a different age group and pageant then the ones I judge I can work with her. The funny thing is at her age I am not judging them on body parts jiggling. Yes, I said jiggle. I cannot tell you the amount of times I had to tell girls in order to move on they needed to run a little, do some more ab work, or even work on the triceps. Oh and butt glue… yes there is such a thing. It keeps your bathing suit in place when walking on stage… something nine-year olds don’t need to worry about… at least in these pageants.

So… how about that butt glue?! Okay, enough for now… more to come and promise to be more consistent this time; I am finding myself with more time on my hands now. Did anything interesting happen to you while I was away? Do share!!!

~xoxo KC

Weekend In Review

30 May

This weekend has been a whirlwind. Family drama started up yet again on Friday and this time… it all came to a head. Without going into detail of my family drama, it was a rough day/weekend for all of us. It’s hard to watch someone you love not want to help themselves and try to destroy you in the process.

What this not so fab family drama did do was give me moment to pause. It gave me time to spend with my parents, to relax, and to think about where I have been going and where I might be going. I haven’t had a weekend like this in years. Normally I hate to spend time “alone” and let my thoughts just sit inside of me but I relished it this weekend. I take great comfort in knowing I found solace over the weekend.

Over the weekend, my anger slowly faded. This may have had to do with the sermon in church yesterday but I know I am still mad and upset, but not angry. I also appreciate my parents in many more ways than I did, or at least I realize now how much I appreciate them. They have done so much for me and my siblings, but for me they have supported me through undergrad and then three graduate programs, the occasional money loan; never asking for too much in return.

I don’t sit well for long, but this weekend I enjoyed sleeping and just sitting. I think after everything I have been through with getting through two graduate programs, works, and family drama lately I needed sleeping and sitting. The difference this time was I allowed my mind to wander and think about everything. Today, I found contentment in just sitting on the patio, in the sun, doing nothing! I just let myself feel the warmth on my face and the breeze blow through my hair.

Looking back at the weekend now the saddest part might have just been catching up on my DVR… that means I need to get busy again so I have more shows to watch when I just need to veg out. I am all caught up on the Real Housewives… and it kills me to watch an episode I can’t fast forward through, a downfall of watching TV shows on DVR now!

What I can say about this weekend in a hope to impart wisdom on my dear friends who read this – when you have alone time, family drama, or not… sit with yourself and your thoughts. Don’t push the thoughts away; let them simmer in your head, feel them. I somehow came out of this weekend a much stronger, enlightened person all because I felt what I needed to feel.

This may not have been the Memorial Day Weekend I planned – the trip to Florida or the road trip to Sturbridge which was a last-minute thought – but it was a really great Memorial Day Weekend; one I will cherish for years to come.

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