The World As I Know It Crumbles…

31 Aug

    Have you ever experienced these famous words – “we are eliminating your position.”? Have you ever had to be walked out of our office building because that was the “procedure” and it didn’t matter if you did something right or wrong, it was just the way things were done? I did. I remember the day like it was yesterday, but it was June 15, 2008, not yesterday.

    I had a long, hard fight for my job up to the end. I had two great years under a boss who saw my strengths and pushed me to do more and noticed my weaknesses and helped me step out from their shadows. Then we both got a new boss and while my boss struggled with her job, I found myself having some of her same issues too. My boss was eventually let go and it was only a matter of time for me. I knew in my heart I was going to eventually be let go. It’s not that neither of us were bad workers, we just were not well liked by the new top boss. We had different style of work and that was often a conflict. Eventually the day came and those words I had been dreading were actually said. I didn’t cry, I didn’t even tear up. I maintained my professionalism and my composure and walked back to my desk. I packed a box and left. But I had to be led out of the building by my manager because that was as I was told “routine and the way things were done.”  I felt like a common criminal and fought back the tears. I didn’t do anything wrong but always fought for my job, now I am being walked out!

    I made it to my car and called my mom at work. I cried and cried but I still maintained and do to this day I wouldn’t have done anything differently. I did what I was told, challeneged the status quo as I always did, and did my best. It wasn’t me. I found my composure again after getting off my phone and drove home. I had plans to go for a 30 mile bike ride that night with friends and didn’t have anyone’s number to call them. So I put my bike clothes on and met them. I contemplated going drinking but knew that would solve nothing but temporary relief and probably a morning headache. The exercise would do so much more for me. And it did; I was able to bike some of my frustrations out. Certainly not to say I was not upset when I came home but I was a little too tired to worry about my job. In fact I remember being happy I could sleep in.

    But the problem that would next arise for me – finding a job in a slumping economy…


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